My Little Pony Fair 2008
- or -
Fear and Loathing on Spooner Street
I set out early on the long drive down I-95 from southern New Hampshire to Providence. Armed with driving instructions from both mapquest and the Providence Civic Center's web site, I was already having problems. The driving instructions brom both web sites were, of course, different. Even so I was confident that I could find my way. The sun rises in the east, rises through the southern sky, and sets in the west. Just keep going south and I had to hit providence. All of Rhode Island isn't that big, so how big could the city be? Surely all I had to do was look for the three big buildings that make up the skyline.
I got off the exit recommended by mapquest only to find that I was being instructed to turn the wrong way onto a one way street. There was a lot of construction going on and a street event that looked like a fair of some kind. I looked for a side street to double back and retrace my steps thinking that I would get back on I-95 and try the Civic Center's directions. In no time I found myself being pushed back onto I-95 going south and away from Providence. "OK," I thought, "I'll just go up to the next exit, which is the one mentioned in the Civic Center's driving directions." The problem was that I had just gotten on the exit I was supposed to get off of. To make matters worse, traffic was moving fast and none of the exits looked like I could get back on the highway going the other direction. After a few miles I decided to just get off the next exit no matter what.
The sign read "Cranston." After driving around for a while I pulled over in a convenient space along the curb in a residential area and pulled out a map. If I headed back the way I came I should be able to get back onto I-95 headed north. If not, I'd do the unthinkable and ask someone for directions.
I put the map down and took a big sigh. My eyes happened to fall on the rearview mirror. "No," I said aloud. "It can't be." I turned around and saw three tall buildings just to the left of a house. I was looking at 31 Spooner St. Somehow I had crossed through Cranston into Quahog.
I didn't see any familiar faces as I turned around in the Griffin's driveway and headed off to retrace my steps. I managed to cross back over the highway, but there was no northbound entrance ramp. The flow of traffic kept me going until I managed to turn off onto another road vaguely headed east. According to a sign I passed on the fly, I was in Warwick on West Shore Road. That sounded familiar. It wasn't until I passed a single story brick building that I realized I was in TAPS country. The building was sealed up, and the address wasn't the one I remember reading on the TAPS site. So I kept going east, straining to read any street numbers I could spot. As I approached the street number I remembered reading, I spotted their new headquarters. I slowed down, but the place looked empty. Maybe they were out on one of their investigations. Shortly afterward I finally broke down and asked for instructions.
I n only a short while I sound myslef back at the Providence Civic Center. This time I managed to reach my destination. It was already late, but I didn't plan on staying long. My plan was to stay in the background, get the feel for what was going on, then make a quick escape.
Ok, to me the "My Little Pony Fair" was downright spooky. All these grown women adopting pony nicknames and playing pony games made me feel like I was at an estrogen fest of pubescent girls caught in a time warp. Now, I've seen people who spend a lot of their free time in Middle Earth, or Hogwarts, or Starfleet, or one of any number of other fantasy worlds. But the site of all those adults living in the world of My Little Pony left me without words. Maybe I don't get it because I'm male, but even most of the females I know never liked any of the My Little Pony toys when they were young. Oh well, to each his - or her - own. I managed to slip out without having been noticed and ran to my car. Within minutes I was back on the highway headed north to my own little haven. There are a lot of fan conventions I'd like to go to, but I can't think of any that would top this one.